Hoping Still.

It was One
When I sat there
At table for two
Waiting for you.
I was shot to pieces –
My left eye twitched ceaselessly
My palms got all moist with sweat
My knees felt flimsy
My legs shook even
And my heart;
It beat erratically.

When I craned my neck
Looking around expectantly
Awaiting to behold the sight of you
Even if for the last time.
I was vigilant;
Careful in listening for footsteps –
Your footsteps.
And like a sniff dog
I smelled the air for the scent of you-
Your musky cologne that was ever my aphrodisiac.
Or at least to catch the fragrance
Of those fresh,wild roses you used to pick for me.

It was Two
When I stared at my coffee –
Cold coffee
I cracked my knuckles
And wet my lips
I played with my hair
And fumbled with the buttons on
my blouse
I fidgeted uncontrollably
Hoping still
That you hadn’t changed your mind
That time had healed the wounds that I dug deep into your warm heart –
Or at least, some of those wounds.

It was Three –
Three when I wished
That I could turn back the hands of time,
That I could rewind to that night, somehow
When in every second
And in every minute you were sure to give me all of your undying love –
When effortlessly, you made me feel alive
Feel like a woman –
Like your woman!
That I could somehow step in that
When I let my pride subdue our perfect time,
And let my insecurities lie to my heart.
That we could maybe
Rewrite our fate!

It was Four
When you whispered those little words that scared me away
When I scattered off from the warmth of your caress
And lost my way into the strange and unwelcoming arms of the lifeless night.

And it was Five –
Five and still I hoped!
Hoped against all hope
Against all odds
That you’d find it in your heart to hold me in your arms again
That you’d once more call me yours!

When I swore that
In the tic of
Six and Seven
And in the toc of
And Nine
I’d still await your return!

And even in the tic
And toc of
And Twelve
I would not leave!


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